Chatroulette: Drowning in a sea of dicks (NSFW)

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When it’s no longer a shock to see a dude masturbate into green salad, it’s probably time to move on.

At this point, Chatroulette is old news. New York Mag profiled it. There’s a “best of” Tumblr of screenshot grabs, but perhaps you are either too cool for the internet or you still have a yahoo account, and have yet to learn the way.

Think AIM with a webcam, but replace your buddy list with random people and a “next” button.

You’re either ape shit giddy excited about this (at least for the first fifteen minutes, then like a bad relationship you’re over it but just can’t seem to get rid of it), or you’re one of those who think it’s satan gone viral. Yes, I’m looking at you Tim Walker! You really think we need to lock up our kids over this? Did you manage to fit your foot in your mouth after realizing that a kid created it?

Wherever you stand, the time you spend on Chatroulette will most definitely involve masturbating men, people with masks, the Jonas Brothers, ravers, and young people acting out their exhibitionist side. Usually with dicks. But sometimes with performance art, like the guy I never found who apparently draws your portrait. See? Daily Creamer is an art blog.

To conclude, let’s quote Festival of Awkward. (Thanks, “Finchy.”)

In Chatroulette:

People judge you based on your looks, they call you faggot or make fun of your appearance even though they don’t know you, because it’s easy to be mean guilt-free if you never have to talk to the person again.

People who actually want to have a conversation with you are rare; it’s much more common for somebody to show you their dick or ask to see your tits.

If you don’t have tits, most men won’t talk to you, and most women won’t talk to you if you’re not up to their standard.

It seems like 4 out of 5 people you meet don’t speak your language, but when you do finally meet somebody friendly, you know it’s only a matter of time before they’ll disappear probably never to be heard from again.

In Life:

People judge you based on your looks, they call you faggot or make fun of your appearance even though they don’t know you, because it’s easy to be mean guilt-free if you never have to talk to the person again.

People who actually want to have a conversation with you are rare; it’s much more common for somebody to show you their dick or ask to see your tits.

If you don’t have tits, most men won’t talk to you, and most women won’t talk to you if you’re not up to their standard.

It seems like 4 out of 5 people you meet don’t speak your language, but when you do finally meet somebody friendly, you know it’s only a matter of time before they’ll disappear probably never to be heard from again.

TRY IT.