Are subtitles too long?

Post Author:

Subtitles have been a tricky thing ever since Dr. Strangelove arrived in our minds, but The Millions thinks the trend has become too unwieldy. Take this one from the book, Moby-Duck (yes, that's a real book):

Moby-Duck: The True Story of 28,800 Bath Toys Lost at Sea and of the Beachcombers, Oceanographers, Environmentalists, and Fools, Including the Author, Who Went in Search of Them.

It's so freakin long Amazon can't even print the whole thing. And they're all about the long-tail.

The piece at The Millions mostly looks at non-fiction books, so I decided to add some possible subtitles to popular fiction books:

Twilight: How To Make It Rain Vampires, Werewolves and Money by Stephanie Meyer

Freedom: Midwestern White Guilt Will Screw Up the Environment And All of Your Personal Relationships by Jonathan Franzen

Their Eyes Were Watching God: And Their Eyes Were Watching Cows Float By by Zora Neale Hurston

Johnny Got His Gun: The Story of a Very Creepy Torso That Will Wig You Out About Going To War by Dalton Trumbo

The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay: How To Meta-fictionalize Comic Book Stories And Try To Make Literary People Feel Okay About Reading Comic Books by Michael Chabon

Infinite Jest: Or How To Be Forever Mocked For Starting and Stopping This Book Multiple Times by David Foster Wallace.

What's a fictional subtitle to your favorite fiction book?