August's Most Average Moments

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Lady Gaga Nude

For our annual Impose team building summer retreat we pony'ed up Lady Gaga-money to have Marina Abramovic employ her Method on our tired souls. That's right, our Labor Day weekend was spent in the wilderness, next to a babbling brook, naked and howling, while clutching giant crystals. And it worked!

Miley Cyrus could kick down our office door, backed by a posse of plushies, and start twerkin' in our workspace and we'd hardly flinch in appall. Our Eh… column was losing its indifferent voice and slipping into “I'll fucking burn a celebrity portrait in effigy” territory. But after a weekend of imitating a howler monkey, while a mountain breeze passes through our loins, we've learned to stop letting the hype beast claw at us. We're playing patty-cake with it these days.

So in September we return to you, in matching Versace pants, with renewed spirits and a brighter outlook on August's low points in culture. Sort of.