While Bonnaroo's attendees are trying to score a big ball of opium to sell and Lollapalooza's ticket holders are still figuring out if they're booked for Chicago or Santiago, Coachella is whipping up a lineup announcement frenzy by announcing it tonight on KROQ at 8pm EST. Or not? Maybe they should make us stand at the edge of a cave and huff some methane fumes, Grecian style.

Either way, it's unlikely to deviate from the standard festival formula. Contemporary "comeback" band (The Strokes, Weezer) + old leathery "legends" (Duran fucking Duran, REM) + "edgy" electronic act (Crystal Castles) + Phoenix = $$$$. Simple.

But occasionally there's a few screwballs in the mix. Sources close to Impose have urged that Steve Jobs is actually taking medical leave because he's so close to reanimating John and George, thus allowing The Beatles to headline Coachella and appear in the next line of iPad commercials. 

So stay tuned to KROQ, because inbetween the Green Day Rush Hour Power Blocks lies the key to 2011's first festival. We may not know the details, but we're sure this guy will be there.