3 hypothetical McSweeney's cookbooks
» Enter McSweeney's Hot Stove
McSweeney's has some things cooking / Walk Off Walk
Word has come down that McSweeneys, everyone's favorite internet tendency, is introducing some food books or cookbooks. Or a food something or another. This news "boils over" the same week that McSweeneys "cooks up" another fictitious memoir, Donald.
Let's enter into the "hot stove" (wait, that's baseball...) and make some predictions about possible titles:
Street Food Meme by <<YOUNG SAN-FRAN START-UP HIPSTER>>. "Hey, this food isn't that bad at all," said <<YOUNG SAN-FRAN START-UP HIPSTER>> after devouring some Korean BBQ tacos one afternoon after yet another failed VC meeting. His new app, DUMPSTAFUNK that allows users to find the nearest landfill/recycling center/abandoned alley to dump trash, just can't find an audience.
Inspired by his Korean BBQ taco experience and using his app, <<YOUNG SAN-FRAN START-UP HIPSTER>> finds an old Winnebago in an abandoned alley, cleans it up and begins selling grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches to the masses. Sure, they don't taste as good as what you can make at home, but who wants to eat at home when you can stand freezing in the street waiting to get into the Fleet Foxes show?
Up North with a Fork by <<FAMOUS TRENDY NYC CHEF OWNER>>. Wow, southern people do know how to cook! This is the story of how <<FAMOUS TRENDY NYC CHEF OWNER>> decides to "reinvestigate" the South, steal some of their recipes, get in fancy magazines, but make poor imitations of fried chicken, grits, greens and cornbread in a loft/boutique hotel/former auto mechanic shop.
Faced with liberal guilt, <<FAMOUS TRENDY NYC CHEF OWNER>> decides to rectify this, goes to deep Alabama and hires people with twangs to make it more authentic. More magazine covers ensue.
Where That is the That Staggers Into Genius by <<LAID OFF JOURNALISTA TURNED BARISTA>>. Working late one night in the coffee shop, <<LAID OFF JOURNALISTA TURNED BARISTA>> discovers the secret ingredient to ever-lasting cappuccino foam. Using a mix of milk, vanilla, lima bean extract and vinegar, <<LAID OFF JOURNALISTA TURNED BARISTA>> shows her coworker, <<COFFEE CONNOISSEUR MBA>> this amazing blend. This happens just in time, as their family-owned/neighborhood friendly coffee shop is being threatened by a new corporate chain across the street.
They set out to prove that yes, family-friendly coffee shops can be innovative and change the dynamic of the culture, and their everlasting foam mix revolutionizes the coffee biz, catapulting this once family-owned/neighborhood friendly coffee shop into their own corporate behemoth. Luckily, <<LAID OFF JOURNALISTA TURNED BARISTA>> is there to capture all of the drama and intrigue, with just a couple of chronological changes for story flow.
Posted on February 09, 2011. More on: books, codex, mcsweeneys
