Earlier today Riot Fest announced the lineup other than the Misfits playing at the annual gathering of the old punks, and if you’ve thought to yourself, “that’s the best lineup that testosterone-filled 1995 could’ve offered!”, you’re not alone. The multi-city festival, which also boasts a “rodeo” and a “carnival” has, according to festival officials, overtaken the Warped Tour as the most overwrought punk fest in the country (though, like the Warped Tour, they also booked a few hip-hop acts that white people are cool with). As you rub your eyes in excitement over the 18,000 names plastered on the two Riot Fest posters—one for Chicago and one for Denver—wonder in astonishment at the many corporate sponsors and $100 “early bird” tickets it must haven taken for you to witness 30-minute sets from bands “too big” to perform for anything less than a stadium-sized guarantee (or, God forbid, a show not in a setting that promotes sexual assault and drug abuse).
But for those of you who enjoy that special moment when irony becomes nostalgia becomes a cash grab, here are the lineups for both Riot Fest shows.
Riot Fest Denver, September 2-4
The Original Misfits (Featuring Glenn Danzig, Jerry Only and Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein), Ween, Death Cab For Cutie, Jane’s Addiction, Sleater-Kinney, NAS, Deftones, Fitz & The Tantrums, Descendents, NOFX, Underoath, Bad Religion, Thursday, Tyler, the Creator, Pepper, Jake Bugg, Motion City Soundtrack, Wolf Parade, The Hold Steady, Yo La Tengo, Sleigh Bells, Chevy Metal, The Dandy Warhols, Vince Staples, Suicidal Tendencies, Flatbush Zombies, Hatebreed, Lagwagon, The Aquabats, Glassjaw, The Wonder Years, Me First & The Gimme Gimmes, Danny Brown, Against Me!, Meat Puppets, Leftöver Crack, Dan Deacon, Murder By Death, Rogue Wave, Converge, Billy Talent, Fucked Up, Lewis Del Mar, Set Your Goals, Juliette Lewis & The Licks,Touché Amoré, Frnkiero andthe Cellabration, Pouya, White Lung, Plague Vendor, People Under the Stairs, Fat Nick and Don Krez, Violent Soho, Judith Hill, Tigers Jaw, Bleached, Diarrhea Planet, Planes Mistaken For Stars, Dee-1, Kirk Knight, Somos, Turnover, Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas, Bryce Vine, 3Teeth, Night Riots, Syd Arthur, Jule Vera, Microwave, Death Spells, Diet Cig, Donna Missal, High Waisted, Culture Abuse
Riot Fest Chicago, September 16-18
The Original Misfits (Featuring Glenn Danzig, Jerry Only and Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein), Morrissey, Ween, Death Cab For Cutie, Rob Zombie, Social Distortion, Brand New, NAS, The Specials, Deftones, Fitz & The Tantrums, Jimmy Eat World, Descendents, Refused, NOFX, Bad Religion, Pierce The Veil, All Time Low, Underoath, Motion City Soundtrack, Thursday, Jake Bugg, The Hives, Death Grips, Chevy Metal, Bob Mould, The Hold Steady, Glassjaw, Me First and The Gimme Gimmes, Pepper, Tiger Army, Meat Puppets, GZA,The Wonder Years, Method Man & Redman, Dan Deacon, Dee Snider, Andrew W.K., Joey Bada$$, GWAR, Leftöver Crack, Billy Talent, The Anniversary, Neck Deep, Highly Suspect, Smoking Popes, Fucked Up, The Vandals, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Girls Against Boys, Fu Manchu, The Falcon, I The Mighty, The Toasters, Set Your Goals, Juliette Lewis & The Licks, FrnkIero andthe Cellabration, Tigers Jaw, Basement, Citizen, Swingin’ Utters, Big D & The Kids Table, Diarrhea Planet, Pouya, Touché Amoré, Hippo Campus, Balance & Composure, People Under the Stairs, White Lung, Denzel Curry, Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas, Turnover, Violent Soho, Dee-1, Bleached, Brick + Mortar, Night Riots, Plague Vendor, Off With Their Heads, Laura Stevenson, Somos, Tancred, Microwave, Deal’s Gone Bad, Death Spells, 3Teeth, Black Foxxes, The Wans, Creeper, The Walters, Jule Vera, Marina City, Worriers, Nots, Big Ups, All Dogs, The Dirty Nil, Eskimeaux, War On Women, Hard Girls, A Will Away, Can’t Swim, With Our Arms To The Sun, Donna Missal, Bad Cop / Bad Cop, Tasha the Amazon, Blackbox, High Waisted, Partner, Sleepy Kitty, School of Rock