2015 National League preview in haiku

Andy Livingston

We’ve poetically looked into the American League, now it’s time to put the National League under the microscope of the haiku preview. In 2014, the San Francisco Giants once again surprised the baseball world, riding the cow-toting arm of Madison Bumgarner to a thrilling seven-game World Series win over the upstart Kansas City Royals.

So what does the haiku have in store for the Senior Circuit in 2015?

NL East

 

mac-its-always-sunny-chase-utley

Philadelphia Phillies

Always sunny in

Ryan Howard’s wallet and

Cole Hamels’ mullet

 

Atlanta Braves

Atlanta Barves

BJ to Melvin

Melvin to San Diego

Barves gonna Barves yeah

 

Miami Marlins

Giancarlo deep

Ghostly bones of Michael Morse

Second best in east

 

New York Mets

mrmet-stretcher

Mr. Met distressed

Other mascots cuckold him

Still better than Mets

 

Washington Nationals

Starting pitching rules

Hitters are deep one to nine

NL pennant yes

NL Central

 

Milwaukee Brewers

Bats on bats on bats

Young pitching could bust or boom

Scooter on second

 

Cincinnati Reds

reds-mascots

Votto can get bag

And Cueto can get the strikes

If not team will sell

 

Pittsburgh Pirates

Outfield is on point

Need the right rotations and

Central could be Pitt’s

 

Chicago Cubs

Jon Lester starts off

Back to the future predicted

Free Kris Bryant now

 

St Louis Cardinals

RIP OT

Jason Hayward has big shoes

To fill on and off

NL West

 

brian

Los Angeles Dodgers

Changed the squad all over

Spending like recession what

And fans still can’t watch

 

Arizona Diamondbacks

C named Tuffy

Pitcher named Rubby for real

Staying in basement

 

San Francisco Giants

World champs in ’14

MadBum soul haunting strikeouts

Expect orange in fall

 

Colorado Rockies

Troy Tulowitzki

Mile high hitting

Will pitching take a hit too?

Sorry for pot jokes

 

San Diego Padres

Holy moly squad

If you don’t watch baseball this

Is the team to watch

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