Mauno’s Guide to Halifax, Part 2

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Impose Automaton | November 30, 2016

Last week, we debuted Part I of Mauno’s Guide to Halifax. Now it’s time for more.

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Here’s the Oxford theatre. Halifax’s oldest single screen cinema and it is a gem. It’s been around since who knows when (March 1st, 1937)! My favorite thing about the Oxford is waiting four months for whatever shitty Woody Allen movie was just released to go away so regular viewing can resume. EVERY YEAR. Wow, what a relief to see it go. – Scott

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Here’s a description I found of this place but with certain amendments: Donated by Sir Sandford Fleming (Man) to the people of Halifax (Hi) in 1908 (Old AF), the 95 acre Park consists of wooded and open areas in hilly terrain (Beautiful), saltwater frontage on the Arm (Soothing), a large freshwater ponds (The Frog Pond), numerous paths, small beaches, and the Dingle (Stupid Wiener) Tower. The Tower is a large, four-sided, slightly tapered structure situated in a prominent location on a knoll, overlooking the shores of the North West Arm. – Scott

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This is our jam space down near the water.  Fortunately, the city is overrun with wealthy retirees from the North-Eastern US and they die of quickly enough.  This jam room we got for a pittance at an estate sale — Scott traded his shoes and I had some pocket change.  Here we are in our secret  jam room / club house stance.  Take it all in. – Nick

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This is where we pick Eliza up from horse practice on Thursdays and Sundays.  She’s getting very proficient with the horse these days and can manipulate it in ways that we’re sure will impress the judges in next year’s touring season.  She slaps horse ass to make it go like she slaps dank bass.  Her horse dads, Scott and I, are very proud of our diminutive little munchkin of a horsemistress. – Nick

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This is Ace Burger located inside of the legendary Gus’ Pub. Best burger in town. A seedy but welcoming little watering hole in the north end. Get a dirty ol’ burger, have a beer, watch some live music, gamble on some slot machines. All your questions have been answered. All your needs have been met. What else do you need?? WHAT ELSE?! – Scott

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Here’s where we get our beer and wines from.  These products we use to loosen the ego and shift ourselves about like a ball-joint.  Sometimes we over-product and make silly noises at each other and get especially mischievous.  Ask Adam about product + Vladimir Putin sometime and you’ll get an idea. – Nick

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Sometimes, in a post-burger bliss, you need to take a turn about the town. If you can’t find any friends, just have a stroll on North St. because they’re all there. Once ran into my mother on North St. and she lives five hours away. Everybody’s just walking on North St.  Going to band practice. Going to work. Going to Dartmouth. Going for coffee. Going downtown. Going home. Hey! – Scott

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Rough Master is available now.

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