Eminem wants to help the little guy. Really.

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No matter how boisterous you can be, and no matter how many shitty products you can license under your name once you get famous, there is something incredibly exciting about those rags to riches stories that rappers get to tell once they blow up. Whether it be Jay-Z selling crack in Bed-Stuy then getting to hump Sasha Fierce, Biggie selling crack in Bed-Stuy, getting to hump Lil' Kim, then die, Tupac being a backup dancer for Humpty Hump and Digital Underground only to get famous, get killed, then turn into a messianic figure in the after-life, or GZA getting to collaborate with The Black Lips — all of these real life legends speak to the inner-Rocky inside all of us, and help make hip hop the phenomenon it is today.

Of course, the tale of a white guy who was really good at rapping and who went out, worked his ass off, and wrote a bunch of really funny-angry songs, including one about an obsessive fan who ends up killing himself (not so funny) warms more than a few cold hearts. Now thanks to a VIBE Magazines contest; “VIBES Verses“, some lucky, undiscovered rapper might get to be Eminem's “#1 Stan.” And while I don't think that means if you win you get to kill yourself like the guy in the song “Stan”, I guess somebody is gonna get lucky and catch Slim Shady's attention for a minute, maybe get to hang out with Dre and Fiddy?

Anyway, it's been chiseled down to the top ten, and I gotta say that of those there are:

01 The good

This guy has talent, and he also looks pretty fucking fierce chugging on that gallon of water. Both are probably reasons for this guy being number one in this contest right now.

02 The Bad

Oh yo, is this what's hot in the streets of Douchebagville USA? Driving around in your tricked-out Honda Civic while not paying attention to the road as your filming yourself rapping? Awesome, man.

03 And the white guy

If this guy wins it's solely because Eminem is gonna look at his entry and say “this angry lad reminds me of myself long before I had piles and piles of cash — except with little to no talent.”