Introducing MAKE TOTAL DESTROY

Katie Alice Greer

HEY- Hello? I'm Katie. I live in Washington, DC and I'M HERE TELLING YOU ABOUT MUSIC AND BANDS IN DC!! I don't know about all the bands so sometimes I'm gonna have some other people talk about stuff too.

BUT OKAY HERE WE GO. I'M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT SOME STUFF:

Hand Grenade Job released their first cassette at a show last week. I listened to it in my bandmate's car driving around the city yesterday. You want to know what Hand Grenade Job sounds like? Sounds like something terrible is going to happen. Sounds like something sinister is already upon us. Have you driven around Northwest DC much recently? Or any part of DC for that matter. There is no escaping the condo fucks who have descended upon this area, and no, I do not mean to suggest anything about any band who shares this namesake. Hand Grenade Job is the sound of someone building explosives. Music before the bomb goes off. “Move Away” is on the internet, on HGJ's bandcamp page. Check it out. Prepare yourself. Hear the power.

Shitstains does not have a cassette out yet. They played one of their first shows on Mother's Day at Ras Hall, a popular venue for weekend punk matinees. About 20 dudes had gathered around the stage.Two teenagers (by far both the youngest and most female-looking members of the audience) started fiddling with their gear, one tuning a guitar with a Barbie's shaved head dangling from the headstock. Preparations for this set seemed to take an excruciatingly long time. The band argued with one another, knocked over a microphone stand, and sent sharp chirps of feedback through the speakers to an increasingly agitated crowd. No one seemed pleased.

“This sucks,” muttered a beard in a Saccharine Trust shirt.

“Hey why don't you go back home and practice some more!” Another someone yelled. The dude-bro audience laughed.

“We're Shitstains,” One of the band members finally said into the microphone, “And we don't have mothers.”

For the seven minutes they played, Shitstains assaulted Ras Hall with a stripped, jagged sort of overdrive hybrid that must've come from only their single guitar and borrowed drum kit, but sounded like something entirely different. Like a cat riding a box down a flight of stairs. Closing with a 20 second rendition of Joan Jett's “Bad Reputation”, Shitstains jumped off stage into a clapping, whooping, and entirely different-mannered audience than when the show started.

Shitstains' “Telephone” can be heard on their Bandcamp page. They are playing again July 20th at St. Stephen's Church at 7pm. The show is a benefit for the Housing For All campaign. .

Hand Grenade Job will perform August 26 at the Black Cat. The show is a benefit for RightRides DC .

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