#SEOBullyBoyz NBA Fantasy Week 3 update

Peter Cavanaugh

This cupcake just keeps getting double-doubles

What up mouth-beathers? Who’s next?

We didn’t actually move up in the rankings, but we didn’t move down. No news is good news, but it’s not even like that because there is news. Ask Gothamist. They were sitting fat up on the number one slot; operative word being ‘were.’ We didn’t straight murk them, but we did win convincingly 6-3. Now we have company near the bottom.

You know how we did it? Chris Kaman. Chris Fucking Kaman, Z-Bo, and Big Baby. We told you not to pick up Kemba Walker, we told you the importance of continuity; we’re building a dynasty, etc. The first lesson we’ve gleaned from this fantasy trip – aside from not drafting only Pacers – is to not be trigger-happy. Take heed, young fantasy athletes.

This week has us squared off against Stereogum (aka Team BRRRRICCCCKKK SQUAD), and so what if they’re second in the standings? I don’t want to be presumptuous, but we’re already leading 8-1. Sure the week is early, but we aren’t sweating. We benched Jose Calderon just for fun. He put 13 points, 12 assists, and 5 rebounds. Thanks, but no thanks, Jose. It’s a midweek gift, Stereogum. D-Rose keeping the bench warm for you?

The rest of the league has similarly lopsided matches. We might have to amnesty Quartersnacks. I don’t know what that means, actually, but they’re down 7-2 again and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we should offer a hand. Whoever’s got Rondo should ship him to Team Quartersnacks, or at least send the homies some sympathy beers.

NBA news? We play fantasy basketball now. Go find Rick Reilly. What do you want to know? The Pacers still suck despite having decent defense. The Knicks are still, maybe, somewhat, at this point, for real. No one likes the Heat. The Grizzlies are this season’s Thunder. And Andrew Bynum has a bowling problem.

It’s a long season boys and girls. Stay healthy and keep your head down.

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