The Best Recurring Characters on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Post Author: Jeff Cubbison

From waiters to lawyers to waitresses and priests-turned-street urchins, we count down the 20 best characters in the show’s history

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is the longest-running live action sitcom in American television history, and that fact alone is staggering when you consider just how far the show has come in its 15 seasons and counting. In that time, Sunny transformed into an offbeat cult show that practically nobody watched into the timeless, endlessly quotable classic it is today.

A number of factors go into that, namely the writing. Rob, Charlie, Glenn and crew have slowly unpeeled countless character layers while portraying their seemingly never-ending descent into depravity. The Gang’s evolution, or de-evolution, continues to thrill fans new and old through the power of repeated viewing on streaming. I think one of the most crucial components to a show’s success is how it achieves its world-building. In Sunny‘s case, you’ve got the main characters (Frank, Dennis, Dee, Charlie and Mac) and their domain (Paddy’s Pub), but what about the other places they frequent, or the other characters they cross paths with? Expanding a show’s universe of characters helps it stay fresh but also familiar to die-hard fans.

Sure, Seinfeld built itself on the chemistry between Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George, but it built its world by bringing in characters like Frank Costanza, the Soup Nazi, J. Peterman, and even George Steinbrenner into the main characters’ orbit. The Office did it with characters like Jan, David Wallace, and Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration). Meanwhile, Parks and Recreation brilliantly rounded out the town of Pawnee with irreverent characters like Jean Ralphio, Perd Hapley, Joan Calamezzo and Councilman Jan. And then there’s a show like The Simpsons, whose charm revolves heavily around the incredibly deep, deep bench of wacky Springfield citizens who weave in and out of the main plots.

It’s Always Sunny has a stacked rogue’s gallery of recurring characters of its own, and that’s not even including amazing one-off characters like Roxy or Country Mac. In 15 seasons, the Gang has made a lot of enemies, a few enablers, one or two true friends/allies, and turned a whole lot of semi-innocent bystanders into collateral damage in their scheming. From lawyers to waiters, school principals to voluptuous tv news reporters, heathens, cretins and drug addicted street urchins, we count down the 20 best recurring characters in the show’s history. Grill up a milk stake and a rum ham, pour yourself a can of wine, and enjoy!

20. Principal MacIntyre

There are four types of guest/recurring characters on It’s Always Sunny. There’s the allies, of which there are a scant few, if any. Then there’s the hangers-on and enablers, as well as the enemies and antagonists (who square up to the Gang). The last and biggest group is the victims – the characters who become collateral damage in the Gang’s schemes, and whose lives deteriorate just for existing in their path. Principal MacIntyre is in that latter group. The exasperated school principal played by Dave Foley first appears when he hires Dee and Charlie at his high school, a decision that costs him greatly (“I have tenure so they couldn’t actually fire me, which was their first choice, thanks to you”). Later in the series, Mac and Charlie attempt to get security jobs at the middle school he’s been transferred to; the look of sheer terror on MacIntyre’s face as he takes a swig from a flask and watches Mac and Charlie square off with deadly weapons is classic. He’s just another in the trail of dead the Gang leaves in their wake.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “Are-are you saying you want to eat the eraser?”
  • “No, please don’t bathe the students.”

19. Jackie Denardo

Anytime TV news is involved in It’s Always Sunny, comedy gold ensues. Channel 5 news reporter Jackie Denardo is the ultimate object of Dennis’ lust. Anytime she’s introduced on screen, it’s usually in slow motion, zoomed in on her, ahem, assets. Seeing Dennis get genuinely tripped up around her – while still somehow acting like a creepy maniac – is both awkward and hilarious, as shown in the scene when he approaches her in the department store in “The Storm of the Century.” She later appears in Dennis’ macabre fantasy sequence in “The Gang Saves the Day,” nursing him back to strength and engaging in a passionate affair before being euthanized after she loses her breasts in an accident (weird!). Her presence alone unpeels another bizarre layer to Dennis Reynold’s twisted personality. And yet, she’s a persistent, quality news reporter!

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • The best Jackie-related quotes are the ones said by Dennis about her: “Charlie, I might be in love with this woman. Not for the right reasons, mind you.” Also: “This Jackie Denardo chick, she’s sparked another storm inside me, if you know what I mean.”
  • Her entire exchange with Dennis in the department store is amazing: “Oh my God, GET LOST CREEP!”
  • As is her exchange with Frank in “Paddy’s Has a Jumper”: “My son is actually a big fan of yours. It would really get under his skin if he knew I was standing next to those…”

18. Pepper Jack

Pepper Jack only appears in three scenes in the entire series, but each one is legendary. Pepper Jack is a pimp who Dee and Dennis encounter while they’re hunting for a serial killer in “Mac is a Serial Killer.” In the span of one minute, Pepper Jack mistakes Dee for a prostitute, claims her as his hoe, threatens to cut her and Dennis with a knife, and trades her back to Dennis for Dennis’ beloved Fraggle Rock thermos. 12 seasons later, the gang recruits him to play Murtaugh in one of their Lethal Weapon sequels, but he approaches the role a little too intensely (making many references to “cutting,” “bitches” and “hoes”). Too afraid to fire him, the gang recasts him as Riggs. And yes, much to Dennis’ dismay, he still has that Fraggle Rock thermos.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “Pepper Jack love Fraggle Rock”
  • “Maybe if you get up off that crack rock you can come and be Pepper Jack’s best hoe.”
  • “Uh, bitch. You speak when spoken to now.”
  • “Whoa whoa whoa, you not just gonna come up in here and take Pepper Jack’s best hoe!”
  • “Happy Birthday, little baby hoe.”

17. The Waiter

The Waiter is a character you genuinely feel bad for. Watching him get victimized by The Gang is painful. Actor Michael Naughton has the tough task of playing the straight man in the Gang’s wacky hijinks, which finds them frequently acting like total dicks at Guigino’s. He plays it well, with an understated frustration that barely tips over even as The Gang terrorizes him. It’s not enough that they treat him like shit and bark in his face when he tells them the restaurant is out of snapper. Tying his laces together, causing a piping hot bowl of spaghetti to fall on him, and totally and completely ruining his life even after he saves Frank’s…you get the picture. Doesn’t matter if he changes jobs (flight attendant) or cities (Minneapolis), they will find him, and they will not remember him.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “I waited on you before, you tied my shoelaces together…a scalding hot plate of spaghetti fell into my face.”
  • “I just explained it. I went step by step.”

16. The Lawyer

Early on, The Lawyer, played with a devilish charm by Brian Unger, proved to be a character who could square up to the Gang and shut them down completely. After a series of run-ins, he gets the upper-hand by tricking them into signing a bunch of contracts, which end up turning over the ownership rights to all the products the Gang had just invented – including Charlie’s Kitten Mittons (“I had to get paid by you people somehow”). From then on, he has a hand in screwing them out of Barbara’s will, and screwing over Dennis in his divorce from Maureen. And yet, the Gang keeps coming back for more. Eventually, The Lawyer’s hubris gets the best of him when he goes up against them in Bill Ponderosa’s trial against the McPoyles. It’s always a joy to see him pop up on the show here and there. Whenever he appears, you just know the Gang is gonna get shafted.

  • “I can see clearly you know nothing about the law. It seems you have a tenuous grasp of the English language in general.”
  • “I have a gun. I actually keep one right here in the draw…I like to keep it loaded because you never know who’s gonna walk into a law office these days.”
  • “So I’m gonna pencil you in for High Noon tomorrow. And uh, don’t worry, cause wherever you are, I’ll find ya. I’m gonna put one right between your teeth and it’s just gonna pop out the back of your neck.”

15. “Don Cheadle”

Geoffrey Owens only appears in three scenes throughout the series, but those moments are absolutely hysterical. Owens plays a local actor who impersonates famous celebrities. He first appears in “The Gang Gets Invincible,” half-heartedly impersonating Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb as The Gang attempts to try out for the team. He also pops up in “Frank’s Pretty Woman,” poorly impersonating Tiger Woods while fulfilling his foot fetish with Roxy and Dee, where he admits that his real name is “Don Cheadle.” Later, the Gang hires him for their most recent Lethal Weapon sequel, where he actually demonstrates amazing acting talent while playing Murtaugh. The Gang, in the throes of white guilt, turns over all creative control of the project to him, and he ends up making it into a scathing documentary about the Gang’s white privilege. A truly wild journey for this scrappy wheeler-dealer character.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “Donovan McNabb? Eagles? I play golf.”
  • “I’m into foot shit.”
  • “Well I don’t know, maybe we could pop those boots off and kick it around a bit?”
    “Well it never hurts to talk does it?”
    “Just Do It.”

14. Da Maniac

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper delivers a tour-de-force performance as Da Maniac, the temperamental, down-on-his-luck local wrestling star who the Gang attempts to recruit to take part in their wrestling exhibition. Piper scraggily mumbles through the performance like he’s Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, at times giving us a raw, tragic glimpse into Da Maniac’s haunted past (the character doesn’t have kids anymore). He’s funny, scary, and a bit of a sad sight to see, a combo that produces a lot of hilarious moments in the two episodes he appears in. He proves shockingly competent at obtaining a timeshare through shady financial scheming, but still gets arrested over unpaid parking tickets. What a legend. RIP Roddy Piper.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “I don’t give a rat’s ass about your collection agency, and as for the $15 co-payment, EAT SHIT AND DIE!” (proceeds to destroy the bar’s telephone)
  • “I love you guys man, you know you, you remind me of my kids.”
    “Oh you’ve got kids, Maniac?”
    (Looks off wistfully) “No, not anymore.”
  • “Da Maniac loves you.”
  • “Sometimes loud noises make the screws go in my head, but I don’t fight in the ring anymore but I still fight with the demons in Da Maniac’s head.”

13. Ben The Soldier

Ben is such a doofy guy. He paints his own face like a frog (with zero ulterior motive). Sometimes Dee tricks him “into giving her sex.” And he sure does love the hell out of those jean shorts that Frank gifted him. He’s introduced on the series as a soldier returning home and Dee’s romantic pen pal (she’s “Desert Rose”). But Dee, being the awful person she is, turns him down when she believes him to be a paraplegic (he’s not), and he cluelessly stumbles into the Gang’s orbit many times after that – rather unflappably and without ever really experiencing the after-effects – even when they intentionally try to re-trigger his PTSD (“I had a good time during the war…I was a computer programmer!”). He’s your classic idiot side character, and possibly the one and only good person on the entire show.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • Z (also a great recurring character) on Ben’s jean shorts: “I used to have some jean shorts like that too. I slept in them shits man. Eventually I blew the crotch out them things. But you can’t wear them everyday and expect them to hold up. They was some nice ass denim too, I miss those shorts. But you, you gotta take them off every now and then.”
  • Dee, while trying to trigger Ben’s PTSD: “Why’d you dress him like Ebenezer Scrooge?”
  • Dennis, while hosting Ben on a podcast: “TWO WARS!?”
  • “I’m a lizard!”

12. Maureen Ponderosa

Quite possibly the biggest mistake the Gang ever made was getting involved with the Ponderosa siblings. That’s certainly the case for Dennis, as in when he suddenly starts to feel “feelings” again, gets nostalgic for his high school sweetheart Maureen, and then quickly ends up reconnecting with her and marrying her. As it turns out, Maureen is a total freak with a dead tooth (“it smells like she’s been nibbling on little pieces of shit”) and an unhealthy obsession with cats, and whose many disturbing ticks bug the ever-loving hell out of Dennis. Their marriage devolves into a divorce in which Dennis ends up paying her copious amounts of alimony, which leads to her surgically altering herself to look like a cat, and finally ending with Dennis (probably) pushing her off a roof to her death. The saga of Maureen Ponderosa is a strange and demented one, that’s for sure. As her brother Bill remarks in “Dennis Reynolds: Making A Murderer”: “you ever seen a grown woman take a dump in a sandbox?”

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “Oh yeah? How about if you guys don’t leave, I call the cops, and I tell them you beat me.” Proceeds to repeatedly punch herself in the chest a la Marky Mark in ‘Fear’.
  • “My Maureen, you’ve enhanced yourself.”
    “Yeah, I got my tooth fixed.”
  • “As I transition from woman to cat, I must insist on being referred to as a cat.”

11. Gail The Snail

As Dennis and Dee reveal (and Charlie will soon learn), there’s no joy to be had in salting another human being. But that’s the only way to get rid of Gail The Snail, who is played with such ratchet perfection by 24 legend Mary Lynn Rajskub. We are first introduced to Dennis and Dee’s cousin at the funeral for her dad in “The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention.” The Gang recoils in disgust from her gross, abrasive mannerisms to the point where Frank deems her to be even too depraved for him (“we did a bunch of those Monster energy drinks and dry-humped, it was awful!”). She also gives bad handjobs (“you’re mashin’ it”), hocks loogies, and globs onto the gang up until Charlie finally salts her away – but not before she practically begs them to go to a rave with her. For Gail The Snail, there’s just not enough salt in the world.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “I’m giving Frank a handy under the table.”
  • “MOM, I’m sexually active now! Get over it.”
  • “I was gonna invite you guys all to a rave to hang out but now I don’t wanna hang out with you anymore!”
  • “I’m more confident, I’ve grown into my body…Jealous? I’m a woman now, I’m not a virgin anymore.”

10. Barbara

Barbara is a treacherous woman. She cheated on Frank with Bruce Mathis, got pregnant by him, and somehow – despite all credulity – convinced Frank they were his kids. She looks down on Dennis, Dee and Frank with utter contempt and disgust. Barbara is brilliantly played by Anne Archer, who delivers her lines with a cruel, venomous spirit (you can see where Dennis and Dee’s narcissistic streak comes from). She later dies off-screen from a botched neck-lift surgery (several episodes after Frank refers to her as having a “turkey neck”). And although it later leads to some funny moments and important storylines down the line, I think Barbara’s death was a net loss for the show. It robbed us of so many more moments we could’ve had. Until then, we’ll always have that epic scene at Guigino’s.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • The entire reveal of Dennis and Dee not being Frank’s kids is one of the show’s most hysterical moments (and one of the most pivotal from a plot standpoint). The whole bit is pure comedy gold: “Oh I’m sorry, would you rather I had them aborted? Children, would you like to have been aborted?”
  • “I am not getting pulled into any sort of perverted sex talk.”
  • “I can’t even talk to you anymore! Standing up for yourself! Standing up for immigrants! I don’t know what you’re turning into, Frank, but it’s making me sick!”

9. Bill Ponderosa

“Pondy’s the coolest.” No Frank, he really isn’t. Bill is a hedonistic sleaze who cheats, steals and lies to women about having a vasectomy. His wife hates him: “Bill’s a lying cheating drug addict piece of garbage and we all hope he dies.” His son hates him (and deal drugs to him): “I call him Mr. Cocksucker…because he sucks so many cocks.” And his daughter hates him: “and he tried to serve me an omelet with cocaine in it.” Crossing paths with Bill Ponderosa was another point of no return for the Gang, where they finally associated themselves with someone who is truly worse than they are. But despite his awfulness, there’s something sort of sweet about the guy. He even lets the Gang take out a life insurance policy on him before he kills himself. He backs out of it, but it’s the thought that counts. A truly crass, deplorable human being. I guess it’s no wonder Frank loves him.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “My kids aren’t really here are they?”
    “No I lied about that.”
    “Thank God! Let’s get shit-housed, right guys?
  • “Your son is your dealer?”
    “He’s reliable”
  • “Take an aspirin.”
    Frank’s inner monologue: “that is not an aspirin.”
    “It ain’t aspirin.”
  • “You ever seen a grown woman take a dump in a sandbox?”
  • “Does Frankenstein wanna come out and play?”

8. Mrs. Mac

To better understand the characters on It’s Always Sunny, you need only look at the characters’ parents. Mac’s mom, Mrs. Mac, is an indifferent, dumpy cloud of smoke. Sandy Martin is an extremely talented and accomplished actress and playwright, and she’s able to mold Mrs. Mac into a fully three dimensional character despite the fact that she only speaks through mumbles and grunts. She loves cigarettes more than her own son, and she definitely does not find Dennis attractive. Mrs. Mac’s best moments are when she’s rooming with Bonnie, Charlie’s mom. The deliriously unhinged episode “Old Lady House” depicts their twisted relationship, which is based around a dueling mix of mental abuse and physical abuse. She’s the very definition of a sad sack, and watching her neglectfully drink, smoke, and grunt her way through all the Gang’s shenanigans will never get old.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • Grunts, grunts, and more grunting
  • “I think you’re an ugly man.”
  • “I think what Charlie’s mom is trying to say, is that Mrs. Mac has a unique and earthy fragrance.”
    “I smell like shit!”
  • “I’m going to take a shit!”

7. Luther McDonald

Luther McDonald is Mac’s dad, a repeated felon, and the single scariest character in the show’s history. Through Gregory Scott Cummins’ brilliant, chilling performance, Luther is a comically intimidating presence. Even behind bars, you can feel him breathing down the Gang’s necks. He threatens Mac and Charlie into smuggling heroin into prison through their butts. Those piercing blue bug eyes of his never blink. It’s also revealed that he swings both ways (“my dad was establishing dominance!”) Mac worships him, but Luther shows nothing but utter indifference towards his son – except for the time he almost took him to the Baseball Hall of Fame, before Mac got him thrown back in jail. The best Luther moments are the prison visitation scenes that show him absolutely blowing up in Mac and Charlie’s faces (the scenes in “Mac Kills Dad” are especially amazing). Mac’s desperate attempts to connect with his dad are sad but funny in the perfect It’s Always Sunny way, and you could practically write a paper dissecting their relationship. Here’s to hoping Luther gets sprung from prison in a future episode.

Best Moments/Quotes

  • “What do you guys know about…smuggling heroin through your anus?”
  • “Dad doesn’t mom look pretty?”
    “No.”
  • “I don’t blink.”
  • “Now you listen to me. Do not come back here without anything UP THOSE ASSES!!!
  • I wasn’t gonna kill you. But I’m going to now. Yeah. As soon as I get out, I’m gonna kill ya. See ya son. See ya real soon.” 

6. Jack Kelly

Jack Kelly, Charlie’s uncle, is a pedophile who most definitely molested Charlie when he was a kid (something “The Nightman Cometh” pretty clearly spells out). The fact that the show can so hilariously make light of this fact speaks volumes about the quality of the writing. And Andrew Friedman is absolutely hysterical in the role, portraying Uncle Jack’s perverse quirks so effortlessly and uncomfortably, it’s impossible to not squirm and giggle whenever he pops up. As a lawyer, he’s also completely incompetent, fumbling Dennis’ divorce with Maureen that awarded her an insane amount of alimony, but somehow winning Bill Ponderosa’s case against the McPoyle’s despite an embarrassing performance. He also has a weird obsession with the size of his hands, going so far as to replace them with outsized gloves. He’s a creepy guy, but his presence really ups the show’s dark humor levels.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “NOBODY LOOK. NOBODY LOOK.”
  • “You could share the room with me Charlie…it’ll be fun. You know, you and me, pallin’ around, getting nuts, doing crazy fun things.”
    “I’m not doing any kind of things that you want me to do with you Uncle Jack.”
    “It’s stuff relatives do.”
  • “Would it be okay if you put your hands on top of mine? Like they’re mine?”
  • “Hi Bonnie, just stopping by to pick up that hard drive I accidentally left under the floorboards.”

5. Bonnie Kelly

Bless Bonnie Kelly. She is one of the show’s most outsized characters. Unbelievably sweet to her “little gingerbread man,” she’s also a promiscuous whore who will sleep with just about anybody (including Frank and Luther). There are two iconic Bonnie scenes that I cannot get out of my head. The first is in “A Very Sunny Christmas,” in which it’s revealed that Bonnie was a prostitute who let a long line of Santas run a train on her in exchange for Christmas gifts. The other is in “Mac Kills His Dad,” in which she explicitly reveals in front of Charlie the details of a sexual tryst she had with Luther and his prison-sex buddy Eduardo. Her love-hate relationship with Mrs. Mac is darkly funny, as is her extreme OCD, which manifests itself in silly ways. Bonnie gives you a glimpse into what makes Charlie tick, and her presence always results in moments of uproarious laughter.

  • Her entire cancer speech: “Give me money. Money me! Money now! Me a money needing a lot now.”
  • “Be strong Bonnie. Be strong for your little gingerbread man. Now is not the time for an episode.” 
  • “I had an abortion. It just didn’t take…You survived it. You survived the abortion!”
  • “I can’t lie to my Charlie…Okay. They were both here. They were both inside me. Eduardo was in my mouth, and Luther was in my butt…Then Luther went in Eduardo’s butt for a while…Then they both completed on each other. I-I was left out of the finale.” As Mrs. Mac says, “Jesus, Bonnie.

4. The McPoyles

The McPoyles count as one entry of course. Of all the depraved figures the show has trotted out, the McPoyles – Ryan and Liam and sometimes Margaret – are the most disgusting characters and the Gang’s greatest antagonists. They shower together, drink copious amounts of milk, sweat profusely, make false rape accusations, and do their very best to maintain a pure family bloodline (by banging each other). They’re as ratchet as they come, and their entanglements with the Gang are the stuff of legend. Through it all, it’s been incredibly fun to watch them take the Gang down a peg, like when they take them hostage and subject them to all sorts of humiliation. Jimmi Simpson (and his eye patch) as Liam McPoyle may be the most singular character on the show, and is responsible for so many of the show’s best lines. It’s been several seasons since any McPoyle showed up, and we need them back as soon as possible.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • “YOU WILL CALL HERRRRR!” (Liam)
  • “Then start breakin bricks, wet nips.” (Liam)
  • “We’ll massacre you in a blaze of glory, and then play with your bodies.” (Ryan)
  • “We just stepped out of the shower.” (Liam)
  • THAT’S WHAT YOU GET CHARLIE…YOU GET FORK-STABBED!” (Liam)
  • “My sister wants to show you her boobies…They’re top notch. Trust me.” (Ryan)

3. Artemis

Artemis is the Gang’s one and only ally (“We don’t have a very deep bench, Dee”). Ultimately, she just ends up bringing more chaos to whatever situation she’s drafted into. Whether it’s helping the Gang piece together who impregnated Dee, passionately solving the riddle of who pooped the bed, carrying on a gross sexual relationship with Frank that heavily indulges their food fetishes, or assisting in a deeply problematic child’s beauty pageant, Artemis brings a level of theatricality and unpredictability to everything she does. Played with pizzazz and gusto by Artemis Pebdani, Artemis is crass, unabashed, and a total hoot every time she shows up. It’s nice to have a recurring character who isn’t either going up against the Gang or getting totally railroaded by them. In fact, she’s maybe the only one who truly gets The Gang.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • Her entire Coyote Ugly re-enactment scene.
  • “The name’s Artemis…I have a bleached asshole.”
  • “Oh hit me with your best shot you stupid bitch!”
  • It’s time to take off my bra and blast my nips
  • “I don’t remember that night.”
    “I didn’t tell you which night yet.”
    “I don’t remember most evenings.”
  • “I’m incredibly high on mescaline!”

2. The Waitress

Like so many of the characters who become entangled in the Gang’s schemes, The Waitress is another piece of collateral damage – her plight throughout the show has been one constant downward spiral. But let’s not pretend she’s a totally innocent victim here; like the Gang, the Waitress is not a good person. The Gang very much brings out the bad in her. But can you really blame her? Charlie relentlessly stalks her, Dennis and Dee frequently humiliate her, The Gang has gotten her fired from multiple jobs, and they’ve continuously triggered her degenerate drinking problem. They’ve ruined her life, full stop. And yet, somehow, the audience never really feels that bad for her. Because like the Gang, she kinda sucks! Mary Elizabeth Ellis is a gem in the role, perfectly nailing her drunken mannerisms, her sad-sack demeanor, and her pathetic obsession with Dennis. The fact that she’s married to Charlie Day in real life makes it all extra hilarious.

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • Her entire “I had sex with your dad rant”: “I had sex with your dad! That’s right! I had sex with your father, because just like you, I like my sex old and ugly!…”
  • “Have you been breaking into my apartment and shoving hair in my sink?”
  • “I’m gonna bang the next person that talks to me. So who’s it gonna be?”
  • “You know what? I’m just gonna get more wasted and then I’m gonna bang some random dude.”

1. Rickety Cricket

Rickety Cricket is like the Gang’s living, breathing Picture of Dorian Gray. The further the Gang descends into moral depravity, the more maimed, mangled, and disfigured Cricket becomes. He’s the show’s most tragic figure – a constant piece of collateral damage in the Gang’s schemes which leave him more scarred than before. Nonetheless, watching Cricket’s steady evolution from straight-edged priest to PCP-smoking, dog-kissing, lemon-sucking homeless street urchin has been as hilarious as it’s been sad. Whether he’s “helping” the Gang sell their stolen cocaine, or getting hunted by them, or graphically outlining for them the sexual politics of homelessness (“You have to fake”), Cricket has been the show’s most consistent recurring character. Every time he appears on screen, you know something bad is probably going to happen to him. And yet, he’s practically the Gang’s sixth member, eternally tied to their scheming despite being the victim of it so many times. But hey, at least the Gang hooks him up with lemons. Good for the scurvy!

Best Moments/Quotes:

  • His entire Magic Mike bit in “PTSDee.”
  • “Guys, you gotta make it sexy! Hips and nips, otherwise I’m not eatin.”
  • “No one’s taking me from behind…unless you have crack. If you have crack, let’s boogie.”
  • “You know how many times I fake on the streets? You have to fake. The guys that don’t fake, they’re the ones that get it the worst…” and later: “and sometimes, you don’t fake it.”
  • I call this one dog three-way. Because I was recently in a dog three-way.” Sheesh.