Facial Hair: The Year in Review

Post Author:

There's no question that this was the year of the moustache. The waxed, the pencil-dick, the “Burt Reynolds”; all graced the streets of hipstertown, and beyond. And while we applaud the many brave souls lowering our inhibitions to sleaze by the power of their bristly upper lips, it would be wrong for us to forego praise of those who began growing hair from their face years ago and have never looked back. Here's a quick survey of the current field.

Tim Harrington. Some might call this bravely bald/massively-bearded face a practice in overcompensation. Others, a metaphor for gravity. We just like to pet it.

[Photo by Rebecca Smeyne]

Black Lips. We are waiting for American Apparel to wake up one morning and realize that their factories have been ransacked mercilessly by hoards of pencil-stache'd ninjas armored in three-inch layers of their own sweat and STDs powerful enough to knock out cement walls. It will be the end of an empire and the rise of sleaze we've yet to imagine. This is called a dynastic cycle, and the day is coming soon.

[Photo by Jeremy Krinsley]

Band Of Horses. One time, we sent a team of these aforementioned pencil-stache'd ninjas to discover if Ben Bridwell really glued his hobo beard to his face or whether the thing is just attached by straps that go behind his ears. All we know is we've never seen those ninjas since.

[Photo courtesy of Earfarm]

Zach Condon. We are including this picture to prove to you that Zach Condon actually could grow a pencil-dick moustache if he wanted. That is not peach fuzz, it's kiwi gristle.

[Photo courtesy of Electrospray]

This dude. Is awesome.

[Photo by Sam Horine]