No Huddle Offense: The Best & Worst of NFL Week 13

Andy Livingston

Saint Louis players showed backbone, while the Bengals climbed to the top of a very-temporary heap. Fans from Tennessee to Washington are confused about who they’re supposed to root for, but you’re probably day six on those turkey leftovers, so who are you to judge? Here’s a look what Week 13 cooked up.

The Best

Johnny Manziel

We think? We’re not sure what to make of Johnny Football’s introduction to the NFL. He did lead Cleveland to a touchdown on his first drive as a professional against the Buffalo Bills, but quickly followed it with his trademark “money” sign despite his team being down 16 points in the fourth quarter. Still, he did what Brian Hoyer couldn’t through three quarters on Sunday and provided a spark for the lifeless Browns. We should also mention this is the third time in six weeks the Bills defense has forced out a team’s starting QB, although, to be fair, the other two both played for the Jets.

Jacksonville Jaguars

The sad sack Jags turned Lucy to the Giants’ Charlie Brown on Sunday. They were down 21 points to the G men before running off four unanswered scores, including two fumble recoveries for touchdowns. All told, he Giants lost three fumbles to give away a game away in which they sacked opposing quarterback Blake Bortles seven times. It was the biggest comeback in Jags history.

Cincinnati Bengals

It wasn’t the prettiest win for the Bengals, as they could only muster 14 points against the two-win Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but they were they only team in the AFC North to get a win, giving themselves a solid bubble against the rest of the pack. The Steelers lost by three points, the Ravens lost by one and Cleveland turned to Johnny Manziel (see above). It will be fun to keep your eye on this divisional race as each team seems determined to give it away. Unfortunately for them, someone has to win it.

St. Louis Rams

Even before they took the field to host destroy the Oakland Raiders, players of the Rams entered the field with the “Hands Up Don’t Shoot” gesture in response to the news that officer Darren Wilson would not face charges in the death of Michael Brown. The NFL world had been rather quiet on the Ferguson issue after the grand jury refused to indict Wilson, so Rams players Kenny Britt, Jared Cook and the rest of the receiving corps should be commended for making a brave gesture in the highly-corporate setting. Surprisingly (sarcasm) the St. Louis Police Officers Association doesn’t think so.

The Worst

Your ability to ignore your family due to less-than-riveting Thanksgiving day football

Yeah, sorry, you’ll just have to sit through Uncle Ralph’s hot takes about Obama, because the NFL was not going to help you out on this day. You probably heard a lot of stuff talk about the fate of the US car industry by the time Detroit put up 34 points against the Bears. And maybe even a few things about Michael Vick the dog killer coming back to play for the Eagles, even though it was Mr. Butt Fumble Mark Sanchez writing his own redemption song in this game. At least by the time Colin Kaepernick and Russell Wilson faced off it was late enough you were either drunk or your relatives were exhausted by all the Tryptophan.

Tennessee Titans fans

Just who do you root for these days? Zach Mettenberger looks like he’s trying to supplement his contract with a continuous stream of Movember donations, and Jake Locker will gladly give you a touchdown for every two interceptions, throwing in two sacks for good measure. The only good thing to look forward to is that you’ll get a Top-3 draft pick that you can use on a new quarterback. Oh wait, Mettengerber was supposed to be that guy? Bruh…

Zach Mettenberger Tennessee Titans

Washington Football Club

The season-long punching bag that has been the burgundy and gold have finally given up on Robert Griffin III and coach Jay Gruden has gone all-in on Colt McCoy, but the Hogs still gonna Hog and the Colts showed them pictures of what a real NFL team looks like. The Colts scored 49 points on five Andrew Luck TD passes, needing only 19 completions out of 27 attempts to do so. Meanwhile, McCoy threw for a respectable 392 yards and three TDs, but it took him 47 attempts and he was sacked another six times. To top it all off (as if Washington’s whole organization wasn’t fatally tone deaf before), they even missed out on the concept of Cyber Monday.

Washington Redskins Cyber Monday sale

Fighting Impositions

fighting-impositions-week-13

So close this week but I’m feeling Tom Coughlin-esque in my inability to put together a winning lineup. I successfully benched the injured Larry Fitzgerald and Dwayne Allen, who shacked up with the underperforming Terrance West and Colin Kaepernick, but the dreaded “questionable” status hung around my neck like an albatross as I watched Brian LaFell have his coming-out party for 15.80 points. This loss makes my chances at sneaking up to the eighth spot and potentionally making the playoffs pretty slim, but there’s no logic to this hot mess anyways.

What to watch For in week 14

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati has playoff implications and narrative falling off the bone, and the inconsistent play of both of those teams could lead to some fun meltdowns to watch. The Broncos host the Buffalo Bills who are a sneaky 7-5 and tied for the last spot in the Wild Card chase with just about everyone else in the AFC. Seattle visits Philadelphia in a possible playoff matchup of soaring proportions (sorry, had to throw in a bird reference). San Francisco heads across the bridge to visit an Oakland team looking for their second win of the season. Monday night is Green Bay hosting Atlanta, which is only significant because you should watch everything that Aaron Rodgers is doing now.

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