Ten artists we'd like to see as holograms
» We want in on this shameless game.
1. The Obvious
Let's get every obvious legend out of the way: Biggie, James Brown, Otis Redding, dead Beatles not named John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Nick Drake, Janis Joplin, etc. These are no brainers and there are plenty others.
2. Ian Curtis
If we've learned anything from t-shirt sales, it's that Joy Division needs to start suing the shirts off our backs — whether it's aimed at Disney or whatever company is shilling these bootleg fabrics at Urban Outfitters — and put their earnings towards an Ian Curtis hologram. Do it not for yourselves, members of New Order, but for the teenagers who despairingly need entitlement. Do it for those who were not even born when he died, unaware Joy Division never toured the U.S., yet defend that band as though they grew up in Salford.
3. John Lennon
If only just to fight with Paul McCartney. No tours. No albums. No reunions. No renewed vows with Yoko. Just lock McCartney in Abbey Road with Hologram Lennon and record it like the show Big Brother.
4. Dr. Dre
We view the potential tour with Hologram Tupac as yet another road block in delaying Detox. We will not allow Dre to filibuster the long-delayed record another year. Send in a hologram, but we still need real Snoop Dogg.
5. Freddie Mercury
To haunt Magic Johnson (too far?).
6. "Like a Virgin" era Madonna
For everyone who watched the Super Bowl halftime performance and wondered how she sold so many records.
7. Keith Moon & John Bonham
Every punk rocker who bemoans the glam, high-pitched stylings of Led Zeppelin and The Who will be able to forget the CSI intros and focus on the two most punk rock people to ever sit behind a kit. Someone needs to teach these kids how to die from partying without overdosing.
M.I.A. the hologram should exist so that we can hit stop after she performs "Paper Planes". We need an M.I.A. that can be on stage without treating her one-shot at a close-up on TV with the same juvenile inspiration of a rebellious 13-year old boy on the Jumbo-tron of a basketball game. Until M.I.A. learns out how to be a guerrilla musician like an adult, let's turn the work over to her hologram.
To stage a Fat Elvis vs. Skinny Elvis battle royale.
10. Michael Jackson
Would we have to make a Hologram Joe Jackson for the Jackson 5-era MJ to be worth a damn?
11. Amy Winehouse
Oops, wrong list.