SLOW MOTIONNNNN VIBESSSS FO' LIFE, MUUUFUCKA.

DJ Screw did it right; showed us the promise land of the chopped and screwed, slow-mo vibes, and gave us a right speed for life. Swishahouse made the gangsta rap demons spill out from hell. Nowadays, we got the new-age dragged out goth madmen and women pitchshifting down so low, so slow we're literally napping at our laptops. The paper cups full of purple fluid that makes you sink into the floor are in all our hands. Fuck, can't... stop... nodding... off.


DJ Screw + Point Black, "After I Die"


Luniz, "Five On It" (Swishahouse Remix)

It's gone so far beyond just simple chop n' screw at this point... There is a new life being breathed into this whole thing. There's more to it than simply cutting, slowing, shifting, etc. Everyone wants to hate on witch-house (god, what a fucking stupid genre name) or talk mad shit on Salem -- mostly because of their live act, but they've had a huge hand in this movement, be that good or bad. Their take on the slowed, chopped, and down-pitched attack has helped outline, if not define, this new breed of dark music. Their "drag" remixes are obviously a huge influence to all of us posers churning out our own weird "remix" mixtapes every other week. Sure, it could get a bit claustrophobic in this space, with everyone practically doing the same thing; chopping and layering effects in Garageband, but it's refreshing to see artists combining a practice rooted in hiphop with genres like noise and drone. They are creating these walls of shimmering sound, painted with cold grey, promethazine purple, and blood-red, influenced by the likes of artists ranging from DJ Nate to Ryuichi Sakamoto to Lindsay Lohan to Goblin to Aphex Twin and beyond.


Skeeter Davis, "End Of The World" (Salem Drag Remix)


Gucci Mane x Salem, "Bird Flu"

Half the time, these motherfuckers butcher this stuff, shred and stretch it to the point I can't even understand it anymore, and sure, a lot of people probably consider this shit garbage (a lot of it is), but I find it highly entertaining. I don't want it to stop anytime soon.


ℑ⊇≥◊≤⊆ℜ
"In My No Religion (Zombie Rave Mix)"


Stalker "m¥swag"

Ghosts, goblins, angels, and monsters from closets and under beds are even being channeled via multi-plat, stadium packing pop artists. Justin Bieber sounds like a celestial waterfall, Hannah Montana sounds like Lisa Gerrard's or Elizabeth Fraser's ethereal lil sis from one of Saturn's moons.


J. BIEBZ - U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis
Shamantis slows Justin Bieber down 800%.

So, I'm gonna unabashedly drop some shit right here I personally did. Here's a little two-part mixtape thing, chock full of jams I slowed and slathered for your listening pleasure. I've titled the tape series Abyssus Abyssum Invocat, which is Latin for Hell Invokes Hell, fitting because there's something, to me at least, that seems a bit emonic and possessed about a viciously slowed track. To complete the vibe, I mixed in a few spooked out, paranormal samples to go seal the deal. Enjoy, and hopefully you'll be a bit surprised by the outcome of the tracks...

ABYSSUS ABYUSSUM INVOCAT, Part One
Jay Z - On To The Next One
Ministry - Stigmata
Nina Simone - House Of The Rising Sun
">Engima - Sadness
Jeezy - My Momma Told Me
Celine Dion - I'm Your Lady
Allman Brothers - Midnight Rider
running time: 56:50

ABYSSUS ABYUSSUM INVOCAT, Part Two
Mark Morrison - Return Of The Mack
">Au Revoir Simone - Another Likely Story
Misfits - London Dungeon
Pink Mountaintops - I (Fuck) Mountains
Madonna - Like A Prayer
Vashti Bunyan - Rose Hip November
Slim - So Fly
Rod Stewart - Young Turks
">Sade - Smooth Operator
running time: 1:08:19

Unfortunately, not everything I've slowed down and edited made the cut, due to the fact some of my slow edits have appeared elsewhere. I didn't want to just not include them in this article, however, so here you go...



Fever Ray, "If I Had A Heart" (Slow Edit)



Françoise Hardy, "Il Est Des Choses" (Slow Edit)

Who knows how long this will last? Who cares? As bad as you wanna hate on these vibes and call bullshit, there's a part of it you like. Stop frontin'. There's more things to say, surely, but I think I've covered the general jist of things...

Further listening & enjoying:
">Salem's I Buried My Inna Wounded Knee Mix
Stalker's 48 Mix
Games' Spend The Night With Games Mixtape Series
Virgin Spirit's Mixtape Part 2: Curated By Party Trash
WOW Magazine Mixtape: Curated By Tri Angle Records