The week in gossip.

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DUCK! (GOose)

Just one of those weeks.

To begin: Loogies in the land of Albion!

I love how English rock personalities have beefs, regardless of how goddamn old and white they are. It's one thing to hear Bloc Party's Kele Okereke mumble about how much he hates Noeh Gallagher (he called him a luddite! Totally not a University Challenge kind of word!). It's a whole separate, wonderful mental movie to imagine Paul Weller spewing his crotchety mucus on a picture of Sting!

Why can't American musicians hate on each other better? James Murphy rags semianually on the adult contemporary age ushered in by Totoise, and he's apparently reduced to vintage middle school taunts with his touring band in an LOLz kinda way, but is Jack White really the only dude with a pair of pasty white fists?

And now for a little mainstream hip hop gossip.

Personal favorite: Talib Kweli gets slapped in the face by a girl at 50-Cent's house, hides in one of the mansion's rooms to cry, and HOT97 taunts him about it on air. Amusing audio of it here. It's ironic to hear them gossip like mildly sexist/homophobic school girls in order to get to the bottom of whether it was Kweli who cried like a little school girl. Best part: “I did see some cheeks get flamed.”

Also Snoop Dogg can't get into England for five shows scheduled there after his current European tour. His visa was denied, with public citations of his little airport incident last year.

Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas was arrested for possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, unprescribed medications and DUI after suffering a minor car collision. Yawn.

And Eminem's ex wife renegs on her court agreement to discontinue public criticisms of the rapper. Ouch:
“'How many songs has he done about me?' Mathers asked Miss Jones. 'How many interviews has he done where he's talking about freedom of speech? … I do a couple of interviews and he's crying like a little girl.'”

That makes two of em…