“White Friends” exposes the sad truth

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Duuuuuude! Why is Kirby Tha Hottest destroying our bi-racial friendship? C'mon bro! The other day when we were at American Eagle and Kirby started to sag his board shorts and I was like, “Naw bro, hike them shits up, homie,” I thought we shared a moment. I guess the smoothies we got at the food court later meant nothing to him.

I was totally planning a “Black Friends” song, letting other African Americans know I am one of the “good ones,” but Kirby has betrayed my trust. I just feel this hatred inside of me. I thought our friendship was the genuine article. It makes me want to shell up under the covers. Sigh.

Well you know what Kirby, good luck getting pulled over by the cops without me. See how many clubs excuse your dress code violations when I'm no longer around. Taxi cabs? Aéropostale clerks? Forget about it, bro.