No Huddle Offense: The Best & Worst of NFL Week 5

Andy Livingston

levon bell touchdown

Week 5 saw nutso catches, a two-year streak come to an end, and the biggest not-surprise surprise ending of the season so far. Fandom rules in Philadelphia, even if they only have two wins, a 40-year-old showed some old man strenf’, and the fight in Florida was actually pretty awesome. And then there was Katie Nolan, who took the league and its fans to task over Greg Hardy’s return in an emotional video. Let’s get down to some Week 5!

The Best

 
The Spectacle

We expect the circus catch on a Sunday to be the work by Odell Beckham Jr, and not a guy on Cleveland named Gary, but that’s why they play the game. Gary Barnidge grabbed this insane endzone catch that didn’t deserve to make sense and still here we are, living in some world where it’s a viable football option.

It was just the brightest moment of Barnidge’s sparkling day as he ended with 139 yards on eight catches and a touchdown that bumped the Browns over the Baltimore Ravens 33-30.

Detournment

colts

Matt Hasselbeck, at age 40 and having spent the past two days in the hospital because of the flu, still made the Houston Texans defense (remember them?) look like Legos being stepped on. Hasselbeck had 213 yards and two touchdowns with no interceptions or sacks. That’s not great for a defense that’s supposed to be good. It doesn’t help that the Texans QB depth looks like the JV table of the Republican National debate in terms of alternate reality production.

Psychogeography

Although I called it a game not to watch, the Jacksonville Jaguars Vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers game was actually entertaining, with a combined 69 points (insert your twitter comment of nice), and a bevy of weird action! Only one interception between both quarterbacks, but eight sacks total with six at the expense of Blake Bortles. Bortles redeemed the woes of the offensive line by throwing for four touchdowns and 300-plus yards. But maybe the best play of the game was a simple downfield block:

How is this not an investigation for sabotage?

BONUS BEST

 
Le’Veon Bell’s walkoff wildcat touchdown, helped in part by some LULZ tackling by the San Diego Chargers, took all of the courage to pull off when you’re only down three points. But Mike Tomlin used Mike Vick to his full advantage, drawing defenders off Bell, who took the direct snap just barely into the endzone as time expired.

Just check out this second angle to see how close it was to call Bell down!

bell2

The Worst

 
The Spectacle

Kirk Cousins took over the Washington Football team with all the excitement of an upcoming NBC comedy that will certainly be cancelled. You know Kirk is going to be bad, and even if he does have a good time, he’s still Kirk Cousins. And with the game into overtime against the unbeaten Atlanta Falcons, Washington fans had reason to be excited, and then this happened

But Robert Griffin III deserves to be on a practice squad, right?

Detournment

Sam Bradford had a rough start to the game against the New Orleans Saints, giving up two red zone interceptions and carrying only a smidge of a lead into halftime against the awful Saints. He showed up in the second half and put on a 39-17 hurting on New Orleans. It inspired a very memorable rant about a team… that has won only two games. But look at that optimism!

Psychogeography

Aaron Rodgers went almost two years and sixteen games without throwing an interception at Lambeau field. Until Sunday, when he threw two against the St Louis Rams. It was an inhuman feat to last that long and a couple of picks isn’t the worst thing in the world, especially when Nick Foles gave up four of them, but dang it he could have gone forever without a Lambeau pick!

The Weekly “Katie Nolan Goes Full Sorkin” Award

 
Gross dude Greg Hardy came back to the league and instead of facing scorn from the media, he got to say more gross stuff about women. FS1’s Katie Nolan had none of it and burned it all down in her show’s opening monologue. It deserves to be seen and repeated and thrown into the faces of players and media alike who think it’s okay to still pull this off.

What to Watch For in Week Six

 
Cincinnati Bengals at Buffalo Bills. The Bengals are 5-0 and snuck out with a win against the Seahawks in Week 5, but Buffalo has been playing their spoiler card all week. Look for the Bills to snap Cincy’s unbeaten streak.

Carolina Panthers at Seattle Seahawks.

Kansas City Chiefs at Minnesota Vikings.

What Not to Watch For in Week Six

 
Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions. Man, this is a certifiable trash game. If you’re in the betting mood, go for the over/under on how many interceptions will happen.

Baltimore Ravens at San Francisco 49ers.

Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars.

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