Worst of CMJ: AM Lacona and Death Vessel

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The Impose douche brigade advances on Thursday, trashing on unsuspecting bands that just want that once chance at stardom, circa 1996.

Alt-Rock! Remember how soon after the media invented “grunge” as a one-eyed money-sign-blinking bohemoth that profited off Kurt Cobain, dead or alive, it quickly combusted into the Goo Goo Dolls and Lisa Loeb? AM Lacona may have been birthed in a petree dish that combined the sperm of the singer from Del Amitri with the man-eggs of the good-times lovin' bassist from the Rembrandts, but that doesn't mean we think this is funny.

I know it's easy to wander into any old barrel-sized venue at this CMJ fest and shoot the monkeys on stage, but monkeys are their own worst enemies, my friends, if left to swing idly from one tepid bundle of crappy influences to another. And look what happened to castrati crooning Gin Blossom rip-offs Death Vessel: they got signed to Sub Pop!

[Above: Death Vessel at the Fader Fort]