Did T.S. Eliot predict the madness of Chip Kelly?

Andy Livingston

Sad Eagles Fans

After the initial frenzy of free agency, the NFL has gone into it’s pre-draft slumber, giving Mel Kiper Jr. his 15-minutes of annual fame. Apparently nobody told Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly. After a whirlwind free agency period that saw him trade away the team’s all-time leading rusher and starting QB—one season after jettisoning the team’s best wide receiver—Eagles fans had to be breathing a sigh of relief that there were limited opportunities for their head coach/Svengali to make any more moves. Unless, of course, you look outside the realm of “good football players.”

In a stroke of genius, Kelly decided to bringback Football Jesus, Tim Tebow, from the purgatory of Maybe He’s Not Actually Good-istan. Die-hard Eagles fans could only shake their head, but maybe these moves were all pre-determined, as new evidence has revealed an early draft of T.S. Eliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock might have predicted the madness of Chip Kelly.

nick foles and mark sanchez

Let us go then, you and I,

When the evening is spread out against the coverage

Like a Mark Sanchez etherized upon a table,

Let us go, through certain half-deserted stands

The mutter running backs,

Of restless nights one-week cheap hotels

And sawdust locker rooms with official Nike apparel

Streets that follow like a tendon argument,

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question,

Oh, do not ask, “What is the blur offense?”

Let us go and make a visit to training camp.

tim-tebow-baby

In the room the pundits come and go,

Talking of Tim Tebow

The yellow fog of Oregon Ducks fans rubs its back upon the window-panes,

The yellow smoke that rubs its anatidae beak on the window-panes

Locked its tongue into the cornerbacks of the evening,

Lingered upon the pools of money by Jeffrey Laurie

Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,

And causes Riley Cooper to make a sudden leap

And seeing that it was a soft October night,

Cursed one racial slur about the house, and fell asleep.

riley-cooper

And indeed there will be time,

For the yellow smoke of former Ducks players slides along the street

Rubbing its Bradford upon the window panes

There will be time, there will be time,

To prepare the media to roast the face you meet

There will be time to murder your players in the media,

And time for all the works and days of receivers hands,

That lift and drop a quarterback on your plate

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet again for a hundred Andy Reid indecisions,

And for a hundred visions and roster revisions,

Before the taking of toast and Kiko.

101413_Kelly-Vick-Foles_600

In the room the pundits come and go,

Talking of Tim Tebow.

Sign up for the IMPOSE Entertainment Email Newsletter

powered by ArcaMax

Impose Privacy Policy

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 
Impose Main

image_of_WHY_in_concert

Sign up for the IMPOSE Entertainment Email Newsletter

powered by ArcaMax

Updates sent straight to your inbox, YOU DONT HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER

x
people_at_concert

Sign up for the IMPOSE Entertainment Email Newsletter

powered by ArcaMax

Thousands of your peers have already signed up.

So what are you waiting for?

x